The Day the Raiders Football Died

[Willmark]

With apologies to Don McClean and American Pie (revised 11-2-25)

The Day the (Raiders) Football Died

A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How Raiders football used to make me smile
And I knew if the Raiders had one chance
That they could make the Broncos prance
And we’d be laughin’, beatin’ the Chiefs all the while

But football season made me shiver
With every loss the Raiders delivered
Bad news on the end-zone doorstep
The Raiders offense couldn’t take one more step
I can’t remember how our winning died
When I read about our wounded poise and pride
But on first down we ran straight inside
The day the football died

So, bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Did you write playbooks without the shove?
And do you have faith in Lombardi above
If the offensive “game plan” tells you so?
Do you believe in the Holy roll(er)?
Can football save your mortal soul?
Can you teach me how to stop watchin’ this nightmarish show?

Well, I know that you're attached to them
'Cause we sure ain’t singing the Super Chargers hymn
Us diehard fans all kicked off our shoes
To watch the Raiders give us the blues
I was a lonely Raider fan outta buck(s)
With too many football frustrations — damn that Tuck!
But I knew we were out of luck
The day, the football died

I started singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Now for forty years we’ve been on our own
And the losses grow fat on a rollin’ stone
But that’s not how it used to be
When the jackass coached for the dopey King
In a jersey he borrowed from Snake, you see
And an anguish that came from you and me

Oh, and while Mark Davis was lookin’ down
The jackass coach stole his Hooters crown
The meeting room was adjourned
No game plan was returned
And while McDaniels was lookin’ for a spark
The Raiders practiced in the park
And we sang Autumn Wind in the dark
The day the football died

We were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Lack of offense in the summer camp swelter
The fans ran lookin’ for some shelter
The silver fades, the losses last
Carr’s pass landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With Jimmy G on the sidelines in a cast

Now, the Immaculate “Deception” — NOT sweet perfume
While the League overplays that pathetic tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, Raider Nation never got the chance
'Cause the Raiders tried to take the field
The scoreboard refused to yield
Do you recall what The Sea of Hands revealed
The day, the football died

We started singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Oh, and there the offense was, all in one place
A formation of wide receivers lost in space
With no time on the season left to start again
So come on, Jimmy G be nimble, Jimmy G be quick
Jimmy G couldn’t play for the 49ers in Candlestick
'Cause losses are the Raiders only friend

Oh, and as I watched the team on this stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No fandom born in Hell
Could break that Raiders spell
And as the losses climbed high into the night
To light the Al Davis sacrificial light
I saw the commissioner laughing with delight
The day, the football died

He was singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

I met a Raiderette who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the team’s store
Where I'd heard the Raiders were good before
But the man there said the Raiders couldn’t play

And in the streets, the season-ticket holders screamed
The fans cried and the hopeless dreamed
But not a snap count was spoken
The points on the scoreboard all were broken
And the three men I admire most
John Madden, Snake, and the Ghost to the Post
They caught the Madden Cruiser away from the coast
The day, the football died

And they were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

They were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die.”

[The Real CK]

Nifty

[Toast]

November 30, 1986.

[erickench]

Nifty is right. You should publish the lyrics and find a Don McClean copycat to sing it on TV/radio.

[GoodTimeCharlie]

Nifty is right. You should publish the lyrics and find a Don McClean copycat to sing it on TV/radio.

Just give it to some ChatGPT AI and tell it the voice you want singing it. Get it done before lawyers make it cost an arm’n’leg.

[raider_kin]

You a writer Willmark? Cuz you got the talent.

[Rabidraider]

November 30, 1986.

We lost to the Eagles that day I remember. My son was born that day.

[Willmark]

You a writer Willmark? Cuz you got the talent.

I am.

[GoodTimeCharlie]

What I find bizarre is that even with the tiniest bit of hindsight, you could look at the last time/s we were a good team and recognize the things we did, and what we seem to refuse to do again.

In 2016 we had a good team. Stellar Offensive Line and a young QB that was drafted in an early round. It was the right process. Piss-poor luck that it turned out that young QB’s first bad injury was career ending. Wouldn’t have mattered what he injured. Just that he had one. He didn’t have strength of heart and mind to ever overcome it.

So that’s pick a QB fairly early and built a powerful OLine. Not rocket science.

Before that would be 2000. What we did was hire a young offensive mind who didn’t have any Raider legacy and had never been a Head Coach. Unfortunately Big Al’s mind became the career-ending injury that doomed the franchise then.

After that I think Kiffin, a young offensive mind who’d never been a Head Coach, could have turned things around, but we were knee-deep in Big Al bullshit.

So hire a young offensive mind who’s never been a Head Coach.

Just these 2 methods of construction, which by the way don’t need to be done separately, are the way that most of the other good teams have found success. It doesn’t always work, but even Miami was good before it became obvious McDaniel is an OC and not a HC.

Getting an Andy Reid is a once in a blue moon. And that really only came about because the town (team) wasn’t big enough to have Andy and Howie Roseman.

Another thing we used to do in our most successful days was always grab a dude with “moxie” if he became available. (Well before Big Al began eating his own tail when it came to “Speed”.) Didn’t matter if that was draft or FA. That means Mayfield. That means Skattebo. That would have meant Favre. Ugh.

Anyway, f[raiders_icon]ck your very much Mark, and also Big Al’s ballsack for producing the shitheel.

[The Real CK]

Nifty is right. You should publish the lyrics and find a Don McClean copycat to sing it on TV/radio.

It was well-done. I could sing along to the original's meter.

[ELCAraiderfan]

Definitely should Ai this to YouTube at least would get 100,000 hits/likes in a day minimum.

Unless you can find a way to do the same and make money off it which would work

[raiderkoch]

I think it died the day that Al traded Chucky away...or when what's his nuts, fat boy from the Ravens belly flopped on Gannon and broke his shoulder. That was the end of the "good ol days".

[Willmark]

Definitely should Ai this to YouTube at least would get 100,000 hits/likes in a day minimum.

Unless you can find a way to do the same and make money off it which would work

I’m working on it, I have a few tweaks. As The Real CK notes the meter is almost there. A few spots need to be refined and it will match.

I’ll have to see what ChatGPT can do with singing. I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

[Corleone]

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[Dr Death]

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